The Best Sledges

Here's something light and fun(ny).

I was browsing through the net when I stumbled on some cricketing chirps that I thought were hilarious and figured I would share some. Here goes:

Rodney Marsh to Ian Botham in an Ashes match: “So how’s your wife and my kids?” Ian Botham’s reply – “The wife’s fine. The kids are retarded !”

England player Jardine complained that one of the Australian players called him a bastard. Australian captain Bill Woodfull turns to his team, points to Jardine and asked “Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?”

Viv Richards hit Merv Hughes for four consecutive boundaries in one over. Merv stops halfway down the pitch, farted loudly, and said to Viv: “let’s see you hit that to the boundary!” Viv was dumb-founded

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Michael Atherton, during his first tour of Australia, stood his ground during a vociferous appeal for a catch behind. At the end of the over, wicketkeeper Ian Healy walked by, calling Atherton a "----ing cheat". Very politely, Atherton shot back: "When in Rome, dear boy."

Australia fast bowler Merv Hughes was never short of a word. During a 1989 Test at Lord's, Hughes said to Robin Smith after he played and missed: "You can't ----bat". Next ball, after Smith hit Merv to the fence, the batsman replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ----ing bat and you can't ----ing bowl."

Hughes and Smith shared some humourous times together. On a day of plays and misses for Smith, he of the mighty moustache declared: "Mate, if you turn the bat over, you'll see the instructions on the back."

Little-known England batsman James Ormond makes this list. Upon his arrival at the crease during a Test match in 2001, Ormond copped grief from Mark Waugh. "---- me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England." Quick as you like, Ormond said: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

Warne to Paul Collingwood after England's Ashes success of 2005: "You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at The Oval? That's embarrassing."

Daryll Cullinan v Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him that he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate the South African. The Proteas batsman's response? “Looks like you spent it eating."

 One more for good measure:

New South Wales rugby league forward Paul Gallen said before a State of Origin match that he hated Queensland "times a thousand". The Maroons' response?  "Well, we hate New South Wales times infinity, no returns."

I hope you enjoyed that. What are some of the best chirps you've heard of? Share with us.

Skyler wrote some of this and lifted the rest from various internet sources. Happy?